How To Tell A Joke Like A Pro

0
78

It’s simple to tell a joke. Here are easy tips:

> Start in a relaxed and confident manner.

> Don’t prematurely laugh.

> Speak to the audience like there’s only one person in the audience.

> Know and choose good material, and the subject matter of the joke needs to fit the audience.

> Build up to the punch line(s) and increase voice changes, animations and exaggerations as you get nearer to the end of the joke.

> Pick a joke on a topic you are familiar and comfortable with.

Here’s an example:

“A big game hunter walked into a bar in Banff, Canada and boasted to everyone at the bar about his hunting skills. He was truly a marksman. He bragged on – anyone could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin by feeling it, and if he found the bullet hole he would even tell them the caliber the fatal bullet.

People started to glance away from his bragging, and then the hunter said, “I’ll prove it! If I guess your question right, you buy a round of drinks and if I lose I’ll buy a round of drinks.”

So the bet was on. He was blindfolded carefully and one of the golfers took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced “Bear.” Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, “Shot with a .308 rifle.” He was right.

They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Elk, Shot with a 7 mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks.

Finally he staggered up to his hotel room, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep. His wife was already asleep when he arrived. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a black eye. He said to his wife, “I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?”

His wife angrily replied, “I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, “Skunk, killed with an axe.”

First, if you want to tell this joke, keep in mind the following:

> Make sure you’re comfortable with the topic and read the joke several times so you’re completely familiar with the story.

> Relax before you begin.

> It’s a good joke to tell at a bar to your buddies.

> Vary your voice when the hunter speaks and when his wife speaks.

> Pause before delivering the punchline.

Here’s another example:

One Christmas the family came home to celebrate. All four kids in the family were successful and had become wealthy doctors and lawyers. Over the break they were eating out and talking about what great gifts they had given their old mother, living in a faraway city, for Christmas.

The first brother says: “I have built a big new house for mum with its own private 9-hole golf course.”

The second brother says: “I spent one hundred thousand dollars to have a cinema built in her new house.”

The third says: “I ordered my regular Mercedes dealer to deliver a luxurious convertible to her.”

The fourth brother says: “Well, Mom loves to read the Bible and you know how bad her eyesight has become. I recently came across a priest, who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty priests well over 12 years to teach him all that but nowadays that parrot’s so good that you only need to say the chapter and the verse and he recites it. I had to promise to give one hundred thousand dollars to the Church every year for the next twenty years, but well, mum is worth every penny.

Christmas is over and mum sends her boys a thank you note: On the first she writes “John, the house that you have built for me, is so big that I use just one room, although I have to clean the whole house. The golf course is great; you know how I love to play the game but I’m having trouble seeing where to hit the ball. Nevertheless, many thanks!”

The second was told: “Charley, that cinema has got Dolby surround and 50 people fit in easily. Wonderful! But all my friends and acquaintances are dead, I’m deaf and almost blind, so I never get there. But thanks for the good idea!”

On the third: “Pete, I’m too old to go on a trip and my groceries are delivered at home so the Mercedes is rusting outside. But it was a nice idea. Many thanks!”

And the fourth: “My dear Hank, you’re the only son who thinks and cares enough about me to think of something that I really enjoy! The chicken was delicious! Thank you very much!”

Practice this joke and before telling it remember to do:

> Get totally familiar with the story.

> Vary your voice for each of the four children

> Use your own judgment, but most like to make the fourth child, Hank’s voice, sound like he’s trying to overly impress the other three.

> Change your voice to an elderly woman at the end and pause before the punchline.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here